Author: Lynn

Those words, (Tear down this wall!) were spoken by the one and only Ronald Reagan in 1987 referring to the Berlin Wall which separated the nation of Germany.  Recently, I and several others were personally asked to write pieces for the Breathe Writers Conference Blog on a given topic or any other of our choosing as long as it pertained to writing. As “luck” would have it, my mind started formulating a piece on the topic of writers block. However, I think many of the factors that contribute to writers block also contribute to our feeling stuck in our singledom.

Of late, I have been reading a very good book on being single and how it’s really a gift from God. However, most of us don’t see it that way. Myself included for the most part! Yet, I am learning to see things differently and while the post I will be pasting below is geared towards writing, I think some of the principles could apply to “tearing down the walls” that keep us stuck in our thinking and sometimes destructive patterns.

Here is what I submitted to Breathe – I might dissect some of these ideas later for the non writers so we all have a chance to live lives that make us proud to be single!

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BONK! OUCH, BONK, OUCH, BONK OUCH!! Does it ever seem like every direction you turn, you’re hitting that invisible wall of writers block? We try to wrack our brains trying to create that next blog piece or the middle chapter of a book or sometimes just the idea of writing seems daunting. We know there are things, fragments, and ideas up there somewhere – but how to get them out and have them make sense?

Sometimes that last part is the hardest…trying to explain scenes, sequences and scenarios that make sense to others but for some reason don’t quite make sense to us because we have hit that invisible wall like a dog with a shock collar; it’s next thing to torture.

Please allow me to give you some ideas of how “TEAR DOWN THAT WALL”!

1. Write a letter to a friend, or if there’s something bothering you, write a letter of complaint, no said you have to send it!
2. Free write, it does not have to make a lick of sense for instance, “Swing from the tail of the q, grab the hook of the g, the ring of the o…oh what fun to roll and tumble like a weed, I am free as a bird to write what I might to your delight!”

See, that was actually kind of fun to read even – string words along on a theme, or a rhyme, this invigorates and stimulates the mind to keep going, thinking of words as something fun, whimsical. Nothing about free writing needs to be “perfect”!

3. Try writing something out of your norm. For instance, try outlining a book of the Bible and create a devotional study from it. Esther is a great book to do this with. Or try writing out how to make toast, or another favorite daily activity step by step.
4. Pretend you’re a newspaper reporter chronicling your day or one of your kids, answering the 5 W’s “Who, what, when, where & why?
5. Find a luscious word like “quixotic” and work it into a sentence, or try to create a character around this as a characteristic.
6. Pick an emotion and write a list of all the things that emotion smells like, tastes like or looks like.
7. Take your shoes and socks off and connect with the ground, leave your phone, computer and e-reader, fit bit etc in the house. Look up at the sky, let your imagination wander, see shapes in the clouds, smell the grass and the earth, and BREATHE.

Remember, man’s first day of life was on the day God rested from His work – let that sink in the next time you feel the pain and pressure of writers block. We are created for community and fellowship, commune with the Lord, rest in Him and ask for a hammer to break down the invisible wall, block by agonizing block.

Hello!

Welcome back to the first week of the new year! I had the distinct honor to once again write a blog post for the Breathe Writers Conference blog – but this time, it was not a general submission call, it was a special request! I was GEEKED I tell ya!

The moderator of the Breathe blog asked me to write about how using a “habit or activity tracker” could help with our writing goals, since I find the exercise of using a habit tacker to be a very good way to help me stay on top of some very key areas in my life. Such as water intake, writing, time in devotion and bible reading, and a couple more items, but I think you get the gist of it!

Without further ado, I am going to put up my posting for Breathe below, I hope you, my fans, might consider using a ‘habit or activity’ tracker to help mark your progress in becoming more of who God created you to be and to stay on top of your new years resolutions and goals! Below is of course geared towards writing, but you can fill in the blank with whatever you fancy or would like to make sure is being done on a daily basis!

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Ah, the fresh smell of a new year! As writers we often aspire to fantastic goals of how we’re going to write 1000 plus words per day, and we’re going to blow the dust off last year and make it happen THIS year! The question becomes, how are we going to make sure we keep and stay on track of our writing progress throughout month, let alone the year?

May I suggest using the ever-popular bullet journal, habit or activity tracker?

The wonderful thing about an activity tracker is that it’s a visual reminder. We are built for sight – we all love seeing the words we write appear just before that pesky blinking cursor. (Ever wonder about that word? Its’ root is curse…eek!) Even those who prefer the old school method of writing by hand love watching their words flow from the nib of their pen.

I have a tracking system that that flows well with my virtual obsession with graph paper. One of the greatest sights is watching the line I have designated for my writing fill up with beautiful red squares!

In tracking my writing I use 3 symbols to designate the type of writing I am or am not doing. If I write a blog post, for singlesliceofcheese.wordpress.com, my dystopian novel, or other writing geared towards a larger audience, I get the coveted full red square (I promise I am not a communist, red is just my favorite color!).

If however, I choose to write out my prayers for the day or only write a personal email, I get 3 or 4 hash marks filling in my square. If I am negligent and don’t write, I get an ugly red X.

Using the varied symbols method helps me to see what types of writing I did throughout the month. Some months, the line is a lovely shade of red, others, sadly look more like a one sided game of “tic tac toe”. In all of this, when I see my favorite color taking up most of the line, it becomes a race to see if I can fill the rest of the days in a similar manner.

While creating fantastical worlds, phenomenal characters and plot twists, we don’t want to over complicate how we track our progress, so here are some practical tips to “make it happen!”

1. Find your notebook! It could be anything, from a fancy leather bound volume to a simple $.25 back to school, 1 subject wire-bound notebook. Whatever it is, make sure you’re willing to write in it!

2. Identify your desired way of tracking the months and days. Some folks draw a calendar, some, use the days of the week, others draw a block with the dates…experiment to find your style.

3. COLOR! Using your favorite colored pen, pencil, crayon or marker, discover how you want to make your writing month sing!

4. Have FUN! Keeping track of your writing progress should not feel like tracking your mileage for the IRS.

5. Start NOW! Make this your best writing month, turned into year!

Take a deep breath, smell that? It’s the fresh scent of a brand new year! For those of us fortunate enough to be blessed with a January birthday, it’s a new year and new age all within the first month!

So, what’s next? Did you make any new year’s resolutions? I think we all ask ourselves this question and sometimes we come up blank and other times, we go with the standard “Well, this year I am going to lose those 15 pounds that are really bothering me and I am going to go to the gym everyday to make sure they go away and stay gone. Then I am going to start saving more money for a house, car, retirement – whatever it may be. Could it be our resolutions don’t really mean anything to us because we have become “jaded” by life and it’s easier to do nothing than to try something and fail yet again?

Is that why by the middle of February, we have a half eaten bag of “Cheeto’s” and a box of “Twinkies” sitting next to us on the couch, as we “Netflix and chill”?  Somehow,  it seems life suddenly got a lot crazier than we ever expected, and well, the gym is over-rated and it’s too crowded… with work, bad weather, and other social happenings…suddenly it’s “really, are a few ‘Cheeto’s’ and ‘Twinkies’ going to make that much of a difference anyway?”

It’s definitely easy to fall off the resolution bandwagon, especially as singles because if we don’t choose to tell anyone about our resolutions, we’re the only person we have to be accountable to. When we have an accountability partner, it provides more incentive to follow through with our goals and desires for the New Year – it’s a recipe for success, not disaster.

When it comes to succeeding with our resolutions, I believe it is a twofold equation. First the old adage comes to mind “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” Keeping our resolutions is a matter of planning around our excuses and mapping out a way to really “make it happen!”

Second, excuses aside, there will be times when life gets in the way of our plans – or as John Steinbeck wrote, “The best laid plans of mice and men…” in the instances where circumstances truly rule the day, we need to be willing to give ourselves some much needed grace in life. This being only the second day of January, I need to be willing to give myself some grace for not completing my “morning pages” – one of the things I wanted to incorporate into my routine this coming year.

Frankly, when I woke up this morning, I had completely forgotten about the desire from the day before to start my morning routine writing about whatever was on top of my head! In conjunction, I have a nominal goal of writing 500 words per day.  This is actually a very low number, but I also know it’s attainable. Here is where grace applies, I did not accomplish one goal (morning pages) but I will hit over 500 words in this blog post! We need not beat ourselves up if we don’t hit the mark exactly as we prescribed to ourselves every day.

So, here is what I and perhaps you as my reading audience need to do in order to make sure 2018 is a stellar year and make sure we stick to our resolutions like super glue to fingers!

1. Write them down! Goals, dreams, desires and resolutions etc
2. Tell someone, ask them to help keep you accountable this year.
3. Give yourself grace – but not excuses!
4. Make sure your goals and such are ones that excite you!
5. Create a “Habit Tracker” to document your progress – vision works!

Let’s come back together next January second and see how we did on our resolutions to make 2018 our year!

A theme has been playing on the virtual screen of my life of late. That of being kind to one another. It started in a book I am reading, and then it came again in the form of a friend leaving the virtual world of Facebook for a season because…well, she didn’t really say why she was leaving. I can speculate of course, she’s a mom of four, operates a small farm, it’s Christmas time, and it’s snowing! What more reasons would one have for leaving the virtual world behind for a bit? What really struck me though, was her parting message. Be kind to one another because we’re all fighting one battle or another.

My current battle is that of snow, I am not a fan anymore! Truly, I have deeper battles than that I am fighting, we all do. Back to the thought of kindness though, having worked in retail, I have seen first hand what kindness looks like in contrast to the ugly underbelly of consumerism.

As shown in the book I am reading, the main character is a 11 year old girl, (my favorite age in life)…yet, she finds herself in a struggle to be kind to a girl at school who seems to have everything in life. The rich girl often does not give Pearl a reason to be kind, but rather to return the “favor” of snootiness’. Pearl, would technically have every reason to be rude back, as she was hurting deeply from the volitional loss of her mother running away with a man who stole her heart.

Yet, despite her losses, Pearl chooses to befriend the poorest girl in school, because kindness matters. Often, I think we forget kindness – we see the bell ringers out in front of a store, so we will put $10 if we’re feeling generous. Or perhaps a pocket full of change and some lint for good measure if we’re not and we think we have been kind, that we’re making a difference. Yes, in some measure, all resources collected, no matter how large or small do add up and thus the act is a ”good” one.

We all see people in a store or on the streets, and think, “their life must be “perfect” based on their bright smile fancy clothes, or whatever else catches our eye. Yet that momentary smile might be hiding the fact their loved one dying of cancer, their own ugly diagnosis… that, my friends, is where the even the smallest of kindnesses can run soul deep.

A once popular theme from a book turned to a movie was “paying it forward” an idea of giving kindness to one would then spur them onto kindness to another and what the world could look like if we all participated. In the book as well as life, there were times when his project looked like it was failing, yet, was working out in the background in very unexpected ways.

True kindness however, run soul deep; as, we’re all fighting battles that others may not know about… I know the surface of some of my friend’s troubles, and she might know the surface of some of mine. A simple act of kindness might be what is needed on a dark day. We often don’t know the full impact of our kindnesses towards one another, but we know how the acts of kindness from another impact our lives.

Acts of kindness can cost us nothing in the moment and reap the greatest of rewards in the end. Let us all end this year doing a kind act for another, and begin the year to come in the same fashion!

As a single person, I cannot tell you how many times I have been lost in a crowd – and I am not just talking about Disney World either, although, that was bad enough. I am talking more of when you go out with friends, but they’re all couples and you’re, well, not.

It can be a bit awkward. I was at a restaurant not too long ago where this very scene played out in an all too real way. I was late getting there – mistake number one. Number two, when I arrived everyone was seated with their spouse except for one place – holding a purse. Turns out the wife of one was planning on sitting there when she got done serving. Great. So all seats are taken in the group table.

Yes, there were other seats in the restaurant – outside of the group.  I took up residence on the wall facing them – I was just about in full blown panic mode. In an attempt to lighten my anxiety one of the gentlemen there asked me “if I was supervising?” He meant nothing by it – but it heightened my sense of “alone in the group” all the more. A few minutes later an extra table was brought out and thankfully another single, in the moment, lady arrived and we sat together. (She’s married but her husband was not there) we ate together – yet, she was more a part of the other group than I could be. Needless to say, I left as soon as humanly possible.

Today, another author was asking what kind of books the rest of us liked to read and to “convince her”. I referenced an odd book, (leave it to me) and the reason why it stuck to me like super glue on my fingers, is because it made me think. It made me question all kinds of norms, patterns and possibilities. Despite living in a utilitarian environment, Ayn Rand’s character Equality 7-2521 wants nothing more than to connect soul deep with Liberty 5-3000. He calls her “the Golden One”. He is looking for more than his street scrubbing to satiate his soul.

It is human nature to want to belong to someone, or a group of someones, that is why we have “clique’s” in high school & beyond. We all want to be part of something bigger than ourselves.

Even the quietest of introverts wants a little outside attention. The agoraphobic on the other hand, wants outside attention without having to go outside and get it…ok, I will quit wandering around and find my point. The point is, when I read “The Outsiders” by S.E. Hinton in the seventh grade, I learned something about myself. I longed for a gang, a group of friends who would stick closer than my tongue glued to the roof of my mouth with a ball of peanut butter. I wanted  to connect deeply on a heart level with other people. I think that is why “We Are Your Friends” resonates so deeply with me. Yes, it’s a dumb movie on one hand, but if you deconstruct the party scenes from the heart of the movie. Friendship, devotion, and finding our own path amongst the noise of life, you find what we all want on some level or another.

Conversely, I watched the movie “Wonder” where the main character is almost a mini Moses, parting the Red Sea of people because he’s “deformed” from multiple plastic and other forms of surgery. He says “You can’t blend in, when you were born to stand out”. True as that might be, we all want a little of both. We want to blend in with those around us, but yet stand out so we will be noticed for who we are.  I mean truly, isn’t that why we have a “blogosphere”?  We’re all putting our voices out there to be heard by someone. Sometimes our signals are picked up by those who are not good for us, nor we for them, yet the desire, to not be like my car, alone in a world built for more. Thus, I have decided, I am going to to knock on a new “friendship door” this week.

How about you? Is there someone with whom you would like to make a greater connection – but just haven’t taken the time, or gathered up all of your emotional energy – to “make it happen”? I think we waste WAY TOO MUCH time worrying about being rejected, that we wander into the vague “We should get together sometime…” when really, they might just want to be our friend as much as we theirs and we’re too busy wasting time worrying about a sure fire losing proposition of, “What if they don’t like me?” or “We have nothing in common…” On the surface, I have nothing in common with the “door” I am about to  knock on, but who knows?  At the very worst, I will have tried and been shot down – and at best, a new friend!

It has been said before by others, and me that one of the greatest benefits to being single is the flexibility this lifestyle affords. However with all of that flexibility, comes another challenge, that of having too many options! Because there are so many options in life for career, schooling, and even places to live, from Vietnam to Venice Beach California, with Cedar Rapids Iowa in the middle. Our culture is such now that we don’t have to stay on the family farm and help milk the cows, raise the younger siblings, and pluck the chicken for dinner.

In our mobile world, we can sell all we own and travel the world, or move to the mountains of Montana and run an E-business. We can move to Silicon Valley to make our millions or become a commercial fisherman and sea boat captain in Maine.

With all of these choices and everything in between, it can lead to some confusion and wonder what they should do with their lives. Sometimes all of these choices can become overwhelming to the point we find an option and just stick with it – even if it is not the best choice for us. We can sometimes get “comfortable” in our selection, to the point where we stunt our growth and become stagnant in our lives.

Precious few it would seem come out of the womb “knowing what they want to do when they grow up” and lead their lives in pursuit of said knowledge. Others it would seem are “called” to their respective professions. Pastors for instance often recount the time when they were “called to preach”. Not everyone is so fortunate.

While I definitely do not feel called to preach, I do feel as though I have been called to write. It is an itch in the hand, a desire of the heart. At times, words seem to fall from my fingers as leaves from the old oak trees in autumn. At times, it is my hope that my words, like seeds in a garden, grow into memorial flowers in the lives of others. At times, it is just for me.

Recently, I had the opportunity to once again present for the Breathe Writers Conference Blog on the topic of “What it means to you to be called to write” so without further ado, if you feel so inclined, here is my “calling”:

“As the west wind blows – so is the rambling flow of verse from the heart of mine, to the gaze of you.

Perhaps, I was too young to understand, but I remember in elementary school our class was having a writing workshop and how badly I wanted to submit something (I don’t remember if there was a prize included or not.) Truth be told, I don’t even remember if I submitted anything for the exercise. But I am pretty sure that was my initial call to become a writer. Never before had I such a burning desire to do anything, besides of course, going to Disney World.

Later, astride my 10-speed bicycle, as I was practicing for the pursuit of my dream of becoming a professional cyclist, and despite my cluelessness on how to make that happen, I wrote what would become the first of many poems. I would later come to call them “cryptic, lyrical messages” as many were written as a tide of emotion rushing to fill a causeway. This, I believe, was the clarion call, the moment when I discovered I could write and at times the velocity at which I had to write in order to catch the thought before it disseminated, disintegrated into nothing. All the more shoring up any disbelief, this was something I must do.

My hope had always been that my poetry might appear in a high school literature textbook, finding a resting place with some of the younger generations. I was fairly certain that they might find identity, solace or perhaps consolation of not being alone in their feelings.

Now, I am the voice behind the WordPress blog “Single slice of cheese” hoping to find a lodging place in the hearts and minds of others like me who are of the single side of the coin. It is my aim here to share the anguish, joy and other array of emotions that come with this state of life. I share from my life thoughts and ideas on a variety of topics. I look at this as more than a cathartic exercise, I hope it provides comfort like a warm blanket or perhaps an insight or even an “aha moment”. I am looking to give a voice, to the often unspoken.

We’re about to embark upon the most harried shopping days of the year, and the question then becomes, why? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a good gift, and I truly love giving them – mainly because I am usually really good at it! I did fail my sister recently, but she’s also known for being rather hard to please. Alas, brush the dust off and roll on.

Wouldn’t we be better off if we spent less money and time at the mall or on our computers and invested that same amount of time in each other? Having worked in retail, I saw the amount of money spent and the worn out and weary faces, the anger of not being able to find “Tickle Me Elmo” or a “Furby”.  Items that are now probably either in the landfill or the second hand store. But did they really make a difference in the other persons life?

Recently, the pendulum swung between the two extremes, more and less. The less came as I was speaking with an elderly friend who had just moved, and the direction of conversation migrated towards minimalism.  She sounded absolutely tuckered out and emotionally exhausted after “simply” moving across town. She was downsizing from a two-bedroom apartment to a single room. She mentioned how much we seem to accumulate without realizing it over the course of time, and truly, I could not agree more. I have never been one to jump on the “green” bandwagon, but of late, I have been thinking more and more, “Wow, there is A LOT of junk in the world! SO much STUFF… I am not exempt from this world of want and junk… but I kinda want to be!

As I was wandering through Barnes and Nobel later in the day, the idea of consumerism slapped me (hard) in the face as the pendulum swung to the other side. I looked at more books than I could read in a lifetime; especially when one considers 1. How slow a reader I am and 2. Just before I started writing this, I was reading a book I bought some time ago and with it, got about 3 pages into it before I decided I HAD to write! (Writing is like breathing for me…) I know I need to read in order to become a better writer, but that’s more like eating – something I can take or leave until I get desperate!

Here is where it gets interesting, I am single and therefore my income can go for whatever, I deem “necessary”. With this being said, today, I could have bought the book I was reading; the notebook I coveted and a Thanksgiving card for a friend, just because. But then where would I be, besides about $45 dollars lighter and have more clutter to deal with?

As I was chatting with my friend, all I could think about was how the poor woman sounded as though she needed a hug after moving her life and belongings. Her “things” could not and would not provide any true comfort. In fact, they were causing her distress, to the point of tears, as she could not remember where various items were in the upheaval from the move.

Of late, I am finding the more stuff I have, the more I want to run away from it! Therefore, I think I am going to start by organizing my clothes into sections, one for sleepwear, one to give away, and then dress and casual clothes. I am thinking, I might even write each piece down per season, and then see what I actually wear and how many times, throughout the season. That way, the items which were not chosen to be worn, can be re-homed and hopefully put to good and practical use.  If nothing else, it would be an excellent exercise in inventory management – a.k.a. resume fodder; I’m a writer, I can make it work!

In the end, I think we should all hug more little old ladies, build stronger relationships with those we know and those we would like to know and spend less time shopping for more clutter!

Sometimes a word will be repeated in different contexts and conversations, to the point where it makes one perk up and take notice. Of late, that word has been contentment.

I think this word has been used in conjunction with, or in place of, complacent, or possibly even apathetic. Don’t look at me too funny, before reading what I mean by this!

Sometimes we come to a point in life that resembles contentment, a resignation can take place and we can convince ourselves that we are content with our situation whatever it may be. It can become dangerous, if we become content in something that is not good for us. Sometimes we get stuck in relationships or jobs that are not well suited for us, or us for them – and we think we’re content, when in reality; we’re either complacent or worse apathetic.

A true state of contentment is a desirous, not a disastrous thing. Sometimes, I think contentment gets a bad rap because we wrap it with the other adjectives above. We think that if we become content, we become “stagnant” or “stuck” that there is no longer any room for movement. We must remember a state of contentment is not a stairway to a pinnacle, or even a point of arrival.

Rather, I believe it to be a state of flux, one where we can say, despite what is going on in life, I am choosing this day to be okay with my state of being. For instance, I am single, and at times I would like to be married, only, I don’t want to be in a marriage that kills me slowly. I could as some have suggested, go online to any random dating site and find some desperate soul, hook up with them, and learn to be “content” with them as my life long choice. Wouldn’t it be better though, to make the best of where I am, to find a modicum of contentment in singledom, rather than bringing another into the mix and try to get them to conform to me?

Truly, I think contentment has a lot to do with being adaptable, able to swing and sway with whatever life throws our way…I know someone will be asking even death or disease? To which I would answer, no one should ever be content with death, as it was never intended for the human race, yet in the same breath, it is part of the “life cycle”. Same with disease, that was never part of the original plan, yet, despite hardships, much can be learned in times of trial.

Recently, I have been dealing with this very issue; I love and live with two late octogenarians, who sadly, are advancing closer towards the inevitable. As hard as it is to watch this slow progression, I have two choices. I can either be content with the time we have and make the most of it, or I can grow bitter at the perceived injustice of it all, and lose any strides towards the goal of contentment, and happiness of the moment.

Alas, I truly think the only way we can find true contentment, is in surrender. That is not to say, “We throw up our hands and give up”, rather it is to give all our cares to the One who cares for us. Some who read this may not be of the Christian persuasion and thus would be looking for a state of “Zen” or “Nirvana” a state of being “in the bubble” or perhaps the “zone”.

Whatever you choose to call it, I think we’re all searching for this state. This place where we feel safe, happy, and hopefully loved too. So who wants to as one of my favorite songs says, “join the joyride”?

Living with the elderly, is not for the faint of heart…

One of my favorite movies, “Redwood Highway” deals in a small part with an adult child making a life altering decision for his mother. In the movie, the son put his aging mother into an assisted living community, she is NOT happy with his decision in the least. From the portrayal of her fitness in the film, one would have to agree, he made a rather hasty decision. While that is not the central theme, it bears reference as I feel I am wading into a new arena, making decisions for them who used to make mine.

It’s definitely an adjustment, trying to navigate from having decisions made for me, to being the one making the “adult” decisions.

Recently, I had to make such a decision; one that would indirectly affect me as it was regarding my father. He was scheduled to have a procedure done at the large University Hospital – one that might improve his quality of speech, or on the other hand, it might be of no value. My part in this was “do I voice my concerns, or do I stay silent?”

Here is where it got me…I had come home late in the afternoon from being out and he was still sitting at the dining room table – this was not terribly unusual, but what was, is that he had not finished his breakfast of two slices of toast. My mom had a nice dinner in the oven and our late lunch would soon be ready. He had been sounding “rough” over the last few days and perhaps this was the pinnacle, though one never really knows with another person how they’re truly feeling. He simply said he was feeling “blah”.

When dinner was served and he barely picked at something he normally eats with great gusto, I became more concerned. The procedure would have taken place in his throat, and as physically weak as he has been of late, I did not want to risk his not eating more than a bite or two because of pain, and thus growing weaker; with his already lackluster stamina.

Part of me wondered if I was being overly dramatic in this line of thinking, or if I was truly acting on the side of caution as I chose to voice my concerns. For reasons I cannot explain, both times, I was supposed to take him in the late fall and winter months, I was filled with apprehension about the trip; no matter how I much I tried to tell myself it would be okay. Both times something happened to prevent our travels. The first was a semi jackknifing in front of us taking out a pickup truck in its wake. The second was a fall or rather a slide onto the floor – a position from which he was not able to right himself.

For a while, I was questioning whether or not I had made the right choice in presenting my concerns regarding the upcoming trip to the University. Later as I was processing the events of the day, I realized it was not so much the decision I was questioning, rather, I was dealing more with the emotional side of the fact, all clocks wind down eventually. In large part, I think, in my limited capacity, I was trying to slow that inevitable winding down.  In the end, I know I made the right and best choice – but my question remains, does this ever get any easier?

Green is often associated with jealousy, money, and environmentalism, but what pray tell does it have to do with singledom? Not a lot, I suppose, although, it’s said to be a “calming color” and sometimes, I can get so wound up in my single track thinking that I could use a bit of natural calm.

One of the greatest struggles I find in my singledom is that of jealousy. At times, I feel jealous of my married friends as they virtually always have someone with whom to share the adventure of the day. They have someone to lean against when winds of life are blowing and tempests swell…

Yet, much strength can be found in independence.

I have an unusual fascination with green pond scum, I enjoy “shooting it” with my iPhone SE… as a young girl, my family would often visit my aunt’s home along the Grand River. On one side of the street is the river and on the other is swamp land. On those stagnant waters, would often grow a type of algae.  Since her road is gravel, I found much delight in throwing stones into those waters, poking holes in the green layer.

As a single adult, I too can grow a green layer if I become stagnant in my thinking, and then I need someone or even an internal check up to “throw some rocks” into the green and poke holes into my faulty thinking.

The  question keeps arising, can faulty thinking be beneficial? Meaning, my thick green algae layer that needs to have holes poked into it from time to time – can it be of benefit? In part, I think it can. When we have the courage to be vulnerable, to express what we’re thinking, how we’re feeling, this can help to forge a greater, deeper bond with another. A trusted friend or advisor. The trouble is when this becomes an invasive and pervasive species on the pond of life, chocking out other forms of life and eventually our lives as well.

What we need is balance; standing in the middle of the teeter totter, barrel or log running down the river, break dancing without breaking any bones. Still waters may run deep, but they also tend to turn green…and not into magical bean stalks that reach the sky, rather the bottom feeders and the bottom of life leading to strife. May this lovely color not lead us thusly, rather let it lead us to the rich promised land of feeding others a rich, healthy dose of magnesium and other healing minerals.

(Fun fact, chlorophyll and hemoglobin (blood) are of the same make up – only one requires magnesium and the other iron for optimum health) so our “greens” can be healthy – in moderation! Let’s go eat a salad!