Author: Lynn

I have always been fascinated with bags. The fact you could put something in another thing and carry it conveniently was always appealing.

Backpacks in particular have always been my “go to” bag, quickly followed by the uber cool messenger bag. Their particular allure was all the places you could go with one of these sleek, stylish bags slung over your shoulders. The things you could put into them…oh you know, the THINGS!

Back then, the more pockets and compartments, the cooler the bag. As kids shopping in K-Mart one day, my cousin and I found our dream bag; a turquoise Jordache backpack, complete with an insulated lunch box & thermos! Talk about the epitome of cool to a couple of ten year old girls growing up in the 80’s!

However, as a young lady in waiting, I also had a fancy for purses. I was an adventurous sort & I would go to garage sales and look at all the bags and unwanted “valuables” of others.

One day, on such an adventure, I found a purse, and as I was exploring the depths of this treasure, it rattled. There was buried treasure within the treasure itself!

The garage sale purse had holes in the very fabric of its being, yet the structure was sound, however, the lining, that which was entrusted to keep the valuables in place had failed. It allowed for the valuables to slip from their place, and collect and congregate in the structure, but they no longer had a specific place to be in the garage sale purse; it soon belonged to me!

An entity in my life has been vexing my soul of late. An ancient verse in the seldom-studied book of Haggai came to mind when thinking about this particular structure, entity and treasure… “You earn wages to put money into a purse with holes in it….”

The entity itself, and the structure, is not mine, but I am a part of it. However, much like the garage sale purse, I feel like the fabric has lost its ability to hold its valuables in place. Some are now floating aimlessly while others have found a new place within the structure.

Continue reading The Garage Sale Purse –

One of my favorite verses in the bible has to do with a rock, a man and the Glory of God passing by.

This rock is by far less impressive in terms of size as there is no room for a man to be placed in or on it, yet he was.

This is a memorial marker for a man I didn’t always agree with, understand or even like. Most kids have some sort of disdain for the authority in their life, and I was no exception. I have some fond memories of Pop and I  have some less than fine…alas in the end, I  suppose he did what he thought best and gave generously of his money if not always of his time, a tendency I find in myself and am not sure how to fully rectify.

Something else I find myself thinking about is the last line on Pop’s rock. “Your time here was not in vain”. I don’t know that my time here is not in vain, meaning, I know I have friends and they say I have made a difference in their lives, I know they have certainly made a difference in mine.  In this particular instance though, I am not speaking of friends, I am thinking about the bigger picture.

The whole thought of leaving a legacy. My father’s legacy is not impressive in the sense that he did not leave a large sum of money anywhere, nor did he write books or the like. Yet, like countless before him, he left the world a richer place by leaving four children in his wake who all contribute something of value to the world at large. His oldest, fine tunes literary works thru the fine art of editing books that will be read and talked about in ways we can only imagine. The next in line works for a manufacturing facility inspecting the welds on ladders, large industrial pumps and other objects used to help others live better lives. Next comes boy wonder, a budding real estate mogul and the only one of the four of us to have children of his own. Actually, boy wonder’s day job is at Dell Computers – the place that provides every other work place their computers. Last but not least, we have me. What’s my contribution? When I figure it out, I will let you know. In the interim, I would suggest living today as if it was your last and despite how often it seems to be repeated, LOVE the one’s who are with you here and now. I made some mistakes with Pop in his care and not loving him the way I could have, where he was at while he was here.

I am trying not to make the same mistakes while I have my mother, but there too, the challenges of grief, mixed with love and other emotions sometimes makes loving the ones you have difficult – but not impossible.

My challenge to you all five of my readers, make it a habit to study those around you, know their favorite colors, what they like in terms of food, their personal style. Love does not have to be expensive, just genuine, a lesson I am still learning.

Analytics and statistics certainly have their place in life but what about when it comes to people? Recently I have been noticing how much I analyze people and then stick them into “neatly arranged categories”. For instance I have one person who entered my life recently and I stuck them in the “do not over share and be careful category.”

Whereas someone else recently entered as well and I swear sometimes I feel like I should tell “them” absolutely everything about me. Not that I am all that interesting and I’m sure they don’t really want/need to know all that mess! Although, I believe there might be some common ground and perhaps learning opportunities within that dynamic.

At times, I think of people in my life as a game of Stratego; with the ultimate objective of not getting blown up. In addition, the set up is to line up all pieces in front of the player and cross to the other side without running into the opponents’ bombs. I’m not convinced this is a “fantastic way to ‘do life’”.

What really brought this all crashing down on me was watching an independent film called “Lives Well Lived” in conjunction with another conversation about “trust”, where I stated rather blatantly that I tend not to trust people. In hindsight, I think that was perhaps a little over reactive and said it more for the impact value rather than being an entirely factual statement. In the moment, I was thinking about a specific person, and not even the people with whom I was speaking!

Alas…

The other part of this equation comes from two different perspectives. I was walking through Lowe’s the other day continuing on a previous thought about “how we’re all just people and at the end of the day, what do we really have to fear about each other?”

This, and a couple of other friends who too have become a part of my life in different intervals yet the impact they have made in my life is like the many different footprints in the sand in front of me. Each step we take together makes another and a different imprint on me. For instance, their gift of welcome, help and hospitality makes me stand with my head cocked to one side and wonder “how…how can I quit looking for bombs and welcome people with literal open arms?” I believe, this is in part where a fabulous piece of advice comes into play, I was told by a great friend of mine, “You need to trust our friendship…” not only hers, but that of others as well. I need not look for that to distrust and dismantle, rather that upon which to build – perhaps that is the real reason why I was walking thru Lowe’s!

Looking at the lives cast on film, contrasting them with mine, and the conversation from this afternoon where one said “despite all the wrong that has been done to me, I choose to give people the benefit of the doubt”…

Looking once again at a person I used to admire and want to be like – how I see them now as a wilted flower who is often looking for the “criminal element” of people, the government and other entities, I see this not as a life well lived, but as an opportunity to shine a bit of light where I can and yet embrace what was once so good about them and maybe even help them to see it (again) too

One thing I have learned recently was how I had let myself become lost in others and their expectations …” Sometimes I feel like I’m standing alone in the world for the first time. Other days, I’m confident in what I know and who I am; if you’re a part of me, and this awakening, please give me a little time and one day soon, I will be standing in the middle of the teeter totter dancing with my community – arms wide open!

In keeping with World Poetry Month, I am going to step back in time to when I wrote bundles of poetry as a way to express that which I had no other means. To say what I could in a way that almost made sense. One that allowed for the momentary pushing of the elusive “Escape” button…Circa 1998 or so –

– Nitro Blues

My feelings are like that of a flower dipped

in liquid nitrogen

So please – tread lightly

My heart – like the carnival ferris wheel

Giving a ride or comfort to those

who need it most – even if it is I

My ego

Like a plate glass window

Waiting for flying baseball

to hit…

My soul, however steadfastly stands

To be there

If, when – ever…

This sounds like you.

-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;-;

Them II

The transit rails carry – the frail

And the strong willed

The powerful & mysteriously loud

On the naked cliff

The young restless contemplates his time

As the fire slowly wanes into a wailing hiss

His place has been found

Moving, still –

Has trapped him in fear

First it arrived – a rest stop

Then, it was occupied

Too soon he left

It was empty –

Then only indents –

A shadow

Memories…

Hello – if you saw my post from April 3, you will know that I am in the process of grieving the loss of my father – who passed away suddenly, but not unexpectedly. So this is going to be a short entry for my World Poetry Month and one of my shorter posts…

April is not only “World Poetry Month”, it is also now the month for me losing my father. I knew it was coming – I just did not know it would be today. I wrote this in December of last year, but it seemed appropriate today.

He was a good man in many ways – he took good care of my mom, making sure during the first 25 years of her working for H&R Block, he would make and deliver her lunch, he always made sure her car was washed when she was going to a special event…provided well for his family.

They were married just over 61 years.

A chair pushed in
A place not set
Someone missed
Missing?

Once a pillar of strength
Now a crumbling monument

Once a mighty man
Now weak
Almost in defeat

Curled into the corner
Trying to retain
To remain
Alive

Passed away 4/3/2018

Yesterday was a day with several titles. April 1st is of course”April Fools Day” but it was also to some Easter and to others Resurrection Day, and to still others just “plain ole Sunday”. It was in the waking moments of my day yesterday that I had this idea to put out some of my random yet very intentional poetry – a.k.a “Cryptic Lyrical Messages” I decided to start with this one entitled “Precipice of Life”. It was intended to be the bridge to restoration of a fractured friendship – it served its purpose for a season…and then a break beyond repair and well, the rest is history as they say. Without further ado, here is my foray back into the “blogosphere”.

As I stand on the precipice of life

Over the Edge I peer

There you stand beckoning –

My choices are: Run, jump or hide…

Narrow the road behind – the path I have come so far along

The choice is now mine – with you I want to be…

The road behind, I know so well

To run, would be to hide…

So I jump

There, I find you – with hammer in hand

There are no more rules – they have all been broken and defied

The spirit of life has been found and regained

The journey has begun –  limits are gone

A headlong dive over the precipice of life…

As I read this now, years beyond the events which led up to the writing of this, I realize this could look a lot like the initial steps one who is choosing to leave their old life of sin behind and follow the One true path of Christianity – the one which leads to eternal life, a life with Christ.

No matter how you read it, nor your circumstances in life, everything breaks down to a choices – some lead to life, others not so much. If you have not chosen the path that leads to Christ and to life, I would like to encourage you to “jump”.  If you have, hallelujah!

Alas, onward and upward – stay tuned because tomorrow’s selection will be something you won’t want to miss, or maybe you will – but why not “jump” with me?

What it mean to be human? This is an age old question that has been debated throughout the said ages and one I am not likely to define on here.

Yet, I would like to take a moment and stab at what does it mean to be human? One word that comes to mind is “alone.”  Some it would seem are alone amongst many, like the woman in New York City, who wrote to the newspaper asking how does one go about making friends in this day and age?

Tonight as I was having dinner with a friend/boss who I met through a Meetup event because we were both feeling “alone” in our living situations, we joined the same book group looking to meet and make new friends.

Our conversation turned to travel and road trips – I am not afraid to take various and sundry trips alone, I have traveled in state and out of state by myself and had an absolutely glorious time of it. However, my friend just about had a panic attack simply thinking about the prospect. Things like that make me really curious about people – because why is one person is more than willing to take on the wild blue yonder and the other just about turns blue simply thinking about it?!

Is that all part of the “human experience”? Having something so simple scare the gizzard out of us? I have another friend who is closer to heaven’s door who too, absolutely abhors the mere idea of being alone. Yet there are some who relish the idea of traveling to foreign countries alone with nothing more than the clothes on their back and perhaps one change and a couple of other personal items in nothing more than the most basic of backpack.

I have been giving a lot of thought to this idea of being human and what it really means of late. Is our whole goal to work, maybe get married, find a few shows on T.V. to enjoy, perhaps have some kids and then die? What about our legacy? Is it really important? I know a few people who would miss me for a season should I not be here – but thereafter, say, 5 years tops and I would be like the city of Atlantis only less famous and still gone forever.

Few it seems really take the time to either make a name for themselves or leave such a legacy that we can’t help but to remember them for generations to come, arguing about what they did or did not say, or how they meant the words they left behind. I have about 5 or so people who actually read this blog – and so it too would simply go further into obscurity.

Perhaps it’s time we all took our collective human experiences and turn them into something more? But what would that really look like if we all were able to create a gigantic platform as they say – where we all knew the other 699 billion other people on the planet? Would it be a modern day version of the Tower of Babel? Or do we already have that in the form of CNN and other 24 hour news networks? I suppose if we all tried to rise up and become known, no one would know anyone else any better…

The church talks about praying for revival – is leaving a legacy of a more than a shadow of a footprint here on the earth part of that “revival”? What are we really reviving? The revolutionist would call for a political revival, the communist would like to see more collectivism, the baptist more “holy living” and the heretics would call for more questioning of other religions…and around and around we would go

Interestingly, it would seem the people of the Babel era had one common goal, that of building a tower to heaven…when our language got scattered, is that when our common goal became scattered as well? Perhaps we should just go back to being human…

Hello again! In part one, I shared some thoughts on tearing down the wall of writers block brick by agonizing brick. I would like to share some more thoughts on how to tear down the wall of being stuck in our singledom or other seeming rut in life. We all experience seasons where everything seems blah, boring or we just become apathetic and want to give up. Below are some ways to beat these blues away

1. Give stuff away! I’m not talking about the expired block of cheese in the back of your fridge, I am talking about clutter and clothes and stuff that still holds some value, but not to you.
2. GET OUTside! Enjoy the sunshine, sit in a park, take your shoes, socks and orthotics (if you wear them) and feel the grass between your toes! Connect with the earth,  there are actual scientific health benefits behind it.
3. Send someone a special care package. Since it’s the flu season, create bundles with Kleenex, Vernors (ginger ale) and microwavable bowls of soup and give them to families with children – or to the elderly who are often prone to contracting illnesses due to weakened immune systems.
4. Take a “mental health day” off from work. There will be plenty of time to make more money – we all wish we had more memories with friends and family.  Take a random day off and enjoy doing something different.
5. Invite people over to play board games, eat snacks and laugh at dumb jokes!
6. Write a note to a friend – yes, this was mentioned in Part 1, but truly, we all love getting mail that does not ask for money!
7. Pack up the car and go for a drive to a new city, find some local eats and learn more about your state or another one near by.
8. Take a class on something you would like to learn, or something you already enjoy, but would like to hone your skills. For instance, there’s a great glass blowing studio in Benton Harbor Michigan!
9. Go to a nursing home and ask if there is anyone who rarely/never has any visitors – become their friend and see what you might learn, if nothing else, you’ll make their remaining days brighter.

This is by no means an exhaustive list, and I would love to see your ideas, please pass them along in the comments section, I am always looking for new adventures!