Imagine walking through a desert wilderness… One reminiscent of the time of Jesus, King David and Saul…seeing-

Photo by eberhard grossgasteiger on Pexels.com

The trail you are walking seems to be a path, but you’re not sure. It is almost as if no one has walked that way before, and yet, there is a way that appears before you. As you’re walking, the sun is rising, and the day is getting hotter with every step. You keep walking but will need to stop and recharge soon. As you round a steep bend and descend into a valley, that is when you begin to hear and then you see it.

A stream of rushing water and on its banks, a tree that seems to have sprung from the desert floor, rising into the sky, bearing a fruit you have never seen before. Under the shade of this tree sits a simple but beautiful bench. Some branches hang low enough to partake of its sweet fruit.

This. This, my friends, is what it would be like to be present in the opening lines of Psalm One. “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the way of sinners, nor stand in the way of mockers.

Instead, they delight in the law of the Lord, meditating on it day and night. They are like a tree planted by streams of water…”

Let us now take a closer look at this scripture. So much is happening; there is so much life here. The tree is beckoning us closer, to sit under its canopy of green leaves. The river of flowing waters beckons us to drink deeply. To drink deeply from His Word and of His Spirit.

The joy and refreshment in the beginning of this Psalm come from one place. The tree of life mentioned here. While the author does not give it that name, this is exactly what it provides. It provides a recipe.

Step one: Sit still. (Be still and know that I am God…) Allow yourself to just BE.

The mind needs rest, and it works best when it is at rest, when it is in a state of peace, when there is shalom between the mind and body.

Allow yourself to be planted in the Word, that you may take root in it. We are told that having faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. The sabbath was created for man to rest, to bring a holy silence and stillness to himself, that he may live. To be like the tree, planted so the life given can bear much fruit, that may nourish many, and through the many, more seeds planted. Sitting still is a difficult task for many of us. But to become more Christ-like in our daily lives, we must first learn to be like the tree and sit. To not strive to “do” more, to run faster and try harder.

Step two: Remember. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. Meditation seems to get a bad rap because of Eastern religions and the confusion regarding the practice. To meditate on something, in this case, God’s law, means to pick it up and look at it from many angles. From multiple perspectives. The Hebrews have a term for this: “Block Logic.” It is where one word has many sides that describe a thing from different directions. To delight in scripture is not necessarily to take pleasure in it but to be moldable, pliable, and shapable.

Think of the toy Play-Doh: when fresh out of the can, it smells good, it’s pliable, yet, you can make many things out of it and they keep their form. Such is when we delight in the law of the Lord

Step three: Do not be in a hurry. Trees take time to grow. We must let go of the idea that we are the only ones who can fix or facilitate in any given situation. We must learn to be like the tree, rooted and grounded, not comparing ourselves, not striving for more. Rather, trees have a secret language. When one is struggling or is unhealthy, other surrounding trees will send nutrients to the one in peril. Allowing others to help, will not only lessen our burden but, in turn, allow another to be blessed.

Step four: Rest. Engage in the resting process. Psalm One speaks of the leaves of the tree never withering. The shade provided is like the Lord enveloping us with His omnipresent Love. It’s easy to feel loved by God when things are going well. However, in those dark times, we must take a moment to breathe, rest, reflect, and reset. It is through the practice and presence of rest that our minds function best. It is here, in the space of rest, that we are designed to dwell. As Watchman Nee points out in his book “Sit Walk Stand,” Adam’s first full day of life was the day God chose to rest…We were designed to rest in God and our work.

Step five: Rejoice, rejuvenate, go forth, and bear fruit! The fruit in this Psalm is indicative of His desire for us to experience His abundance and to take joy in His gifts. Think with me back to the beginning, back to Genesis one. God planted a garden and put the man in the middle of it. Each tree was bearing fruit, good for the man, pleasing to the Lord, and good for food. Each piece contained seeds, seeds for bearing more trees and more fruit. Each was told to go forth and multiply. Creating more, creating abundance. The fruit of the tree is not for the benefit of the tree; it is for those other weary souls whom we meet, whom we can provide a place of refuge for. The fruit we produce will be lasting fruit, helping others to build and grow, to rest, and flow – like the waters and wind…

Because we have taken advice from the tree and rooted ourselves in Christ, His love, we can provide His shade to the weary and His fruit to the hungry. It is in these steps, and the practice thereof, that we can truly be the “hands and feet of Jesus” to a tired and hungry world!

50 Hours to 50!

JUBILEE/50!

When I started writing this, I was about 50 hours away from turning 50. For my big day, I hopped in the car and took a road trip! Like ancient Jonah, I was running in the opposite direction of convention. I went East, the way of the sunrise, towards new beginnings, towards Mecca…because; a new day is dawning…

I am not unfamiliar with solo adventures – but this one is different. Of late, I have been finding and forging my own path. Cultivating the soil of my mind in different ventures, books, and ways of thinking about the world in which I find myself and finding myself along the way. 

With that in mind, I will be sharing some abstract reflections –

This trip, with its many miles along the highways and byways, has me taking stock of who and what is important. One thing I know to be true, I am here to make a difference in other people’s lives. With that, for many years, I was my parent’s caretaker. I am here to tell you; caring for the elderly is not for the faint of heart…It is the most rewarding and under-appreciated work a person can do for another. My parents appreciated what I did; others seemed less so…especially once they were no longer with us.

When I was in that role, I got lost. I assumed many of their beliefs, I went to church, drank the Kool-Aid, and believed as they did, as they told me to. I drank in their conservative ways and questioned nothing. Both of my parents are gone now, and I regret nothing in terms of being there for them.

Regarding myself, I regret everything. Ok, that might be a bit of an overstep, but I do have some places that are still a little “sore.” For instance, when I was with them, I found it “hard to breathe.” Especially before my father passed away. He was a good man, but somehow, living with him was stifling to me. It has been six years since he passed away, but I still have not been able to take a full breath. (Figuratively speaking) My lungs are still like butterfly wings, fresh from the chrysalis, weak yet grown, and sometimes they still groan with the new air, filling as if they were full of new wine. 

As I drove from northern Kentucky to Spartanburg, South Carolina… my route contained a scenic wonderland, silver-tipped mountains, and a shallow but dangerous river. Rocks lined the bed of it, as noted in the flowing rapids. One could see where it had risen recently, leaving a torrent of chaos in its wake.

Then, just over the border into Tennessee, on the right side of the road, in the outer banks of a parking lot, sat an abandoned mini carnival, complete with a Ferris wheel. On the left side was an enormous cross followed directly by an adult theater/toy store. Oh, humanity, how you never cease to amuse…

On the flip side, the sun shone on the trees above, making them glow in low winter light. Further along, I drove past a trailer painted with whimsical designs painted on its broad side, perched precariously on the edge of the road and the drop-off below. It seemed out of place along that stretch of road. Old stone buildings and a small gas station with community picnic tables gave a cozy feel to the roadway. 

Yet, there was always an extra layer of life clinging to the exteriors of everything I passed. It was as if the harsh landscape wore off on those around it, giving everything a hardscrabble look. There was a pervasive sense of “lived in abandonment”. Someone was still living there, but the heartbeat of it had gone the way of Elvis…

What I found along this roadway, besides a regular size gas station called “Country Boys Mini Mall, Fat Daddy’s Auto Repair, and Momma Bear, ‘ambulance chaser’ law firm.” Was first a sense of peace like none other. And second, more of my artistic soul. As I was driving, I kept peeling away the debris, the rubble from a crushed spirit. I found who I am to become more of. I found lost parts of a storyteller’s voice, different parts of an amateur iPhone photographer, and someone who has been in exile far too long…I found I am ready to leave my “profession-al” life and ready to take on my vocational life. No longer will I just have a job I profess to do yet quenches the fire in my belly. 

Instead, it will consist of an active pursuit of my calling. What I was put here to do with greater clarity. I found the joy in having the first word, the one that gets the conversation started! There is no value in seeking the last word, not when it comes to Spirit and the edifying building of people… I am not here to pin down the butterfly. In other words, it is a rebuilding of how we see “church, God, and others.” Teaching and re-teaching how to love and love well. Starting with myself…

Love Divided…

A hearts Cry –

“Life is beautiful, but it’s complicated…”

“We live until we die” …this whole prospect regarding life and death is interesting… One minute we’re here and then, in the next moment, the heart stops beating; the electricity gets disconnected, and everything goes black. 

Once it goes to black, the chance of it coming back is reduced, but not impossible. That is where it becomes complicated. In the end, this thing called death takes us all in one way or another. Some intentionally choose the time they will breathe that last, beautiful, complicated breath, and others don’t they let life take its course. Thoughts of suicide are a fight within the self, it becomes an “option” because we choose when the heart stops beating, and consequently asks the brain to stop responding to the emotion of the electromagnetic current running through us. 

The full ripple effect is unknown and likely often unknown and untold. The emotional toll on others is not easily gauged or understood. I know people who have experienced loss in this regard, and they often have a visible reaction to the conversation and yet, I don’t think it’s ever fully explored and expressed how they are truly feeling about that loss. All I know for sure is, from the expressions of others, it hurts in ways that other things don’t, both in them and in the one contemplating…

Yet, the depth of anger, anxiety, and the other 164 emotions cascading at any given moment is also often under-explored. Our culture has virtually demonized, definitely dismissed, and diverted attention from our inner world. Granted, mental health has become a “hot topic” of late, but it took a breakthrough starting with soldiers coming back from the war-torn desert battlefields of Iraq to get our attention. Prior to this revolution in health care, the prevailing winds were to blow the dust off the feelings because we were Americans, and those colors didn’t run down our cheeks. 

In the gospels, there is a simple and complicated instruction. “Love your neighbor as yourself. This is not saying as you “love yourself”, rather it’s as if we are one organism. As if you were a part of me that I cannot live without. 

What is this “Love” then? A deep guttural heart cry. A cry for Him who blew into the dirt and gave it life, a heart cry for God, for something, or someone bigger than themselves. This is not a piece advocating for any specific deity, historical figure, messiah, etc. Why not? Because of one word. Choice.  Without choice, division ensues, and love dies the horrible death of loneliness because of subjection. When “love” is demanded and forced, it is no longer love, but enslavement.

I believe we have failed to recognize the impact of how the most iconic cultural hero, Jesus, wept too. We like to theorize about why he did, rather than focusing on that he did.  He was wrought with emotion, and he expressed it. Likely in such a way, the gospel writer felt it viscerally. We would do well in allowing ourselves to experience and express our emotions so we too felt them viscerally and others knew the depth of our grief so they could help love us, and we them, back to health. To view the emotional state of others as something we can or will inevitably identify with and experience. Emotional expressions of grief and despair are not something that needs to be “gotten over”, they need a neighbor to love them through the difficult time. Allowing them to express themselves and not be made to suppress them further.

As people, there are many things we can live without, including some of our internal organs. However, we cannot live without water, a heartbeat, or each other.

In the surreal scenarios where the question is asked “What would you do if you found out you were the last person left alive on earth?” The simple answer is, that you would die, and it would be the worst kind of death, from loneliness. Deprivation of the knowing and accepting love from another.

The sad reality is, that we are “too busy” to see this requisite need for each other.  To love our neighbors as ourselves is in part to recognize this need and then to act accordingly. To listen and respond to the heart cry and desire for connection of others to us. 

If then, we extinguish our feelings, deny our desire for expression, or worse deny others their turn to express themselves, we will lose our way. Potentially driving the proverbial bus off the frontier in a spiral of despair. This often has another name, suicide. Sometimes it is a quick death, often it is a slow painful one, through drugs or alcohol. We do not choose to label those as suicides though as they were not the immediate, heart-stopping, electric shock kind. Though, maybe we should revisit that conversation. Or better yet, we should attempt real dialogue filled with love, empathy, and a desire to see ourselves in another, flourishing.  

Perhaps we should look at another side of this block called suicide. Those who are close to making that leap, those who feel they have nothing more than a paycheck to live for, and yet keep fighting the uphill battle looking for some reward, for love, no matter how tiny a morsel it ends up being. It is in this fight, I believe, that they are unconsciously loving their neighbor as themselves. They are choosing to stay alive for those they care about, perhaps it is just one person. One person whom they do not want to disappoint.

Sadly though, trouble awaits. Waiting to disrupt the intimacy of one, separating us from “true love.” Shrouding us in a veil, one that covers our eyes and blocks our ears. One that keeps us divided from true, whole, and perfect love. One that keeps us separated from each other. Yet the veil which separates us from each other separates us from ourselves as well.

How, what, then can we do? We can mourn the loss of innocence and fight the injustices that steal it. We can stop and look. Really look at the person across the world, country, state, city, room, and table, and then see them, and ourselves in one fell swoop. See them as that integral piece of ourselves that is missing. I can stop and see you and me and what makes you and I different, yet the same. We can stop. Stop looking for what makes us different, stop the us vs. them. We can learn to love our neighbors AS ourselves. We are to love each other as if one. As if I am you and you are me…

True love cannot be divided, but it can be manifested. True love can be shared, felt, and experienced, it is the glue of unity and unification. It is the force that drives us to our knees as we bow in desperation, thirsting for, and desiring this quality, action, and emotion, for this wellspring to fill our cups, and run over our lips. It is the embodiment of the word “abide”. To come together as one, to live as one… It is the universal spirit, that binds us together, it is what drives us to the point of being willing and able to fulfill a mission and give up our lives in deference to an ideal, a value, or another virtually held virtue.

Conversely, it is also that same zeal for love and its cousin acceptance that drives us apart, that drives us to the extremes of saying, I am right, and you are wrong. I will love these in my camp as myself, but I cannot see me in you…thus I will call you a terrorist…

Yet, we are them and they are us. We are all capable of doing great and dangerous things alike. Thus, we need then to do as my friend says when we part ways, “Take care of yourself out there.” 

In that small sentence, what she is saying, is, “Take care of the you I know and the one I don’t. The one I see regularly and the one I never will” … May we then choose this day to love our neighbors as ourselves…

Abandoned Power II💥

Have you ears to hear – ?

Identity comes from within, not the voices outside our inner sanctum. Thus all the things I do to make people think I am smart, funny, or some kind of cool, are not what make me who I am. 

God alone tells us who we are, but we have chosen to silence His voice. Our ears have become stopped. Thus, He uses another to be His mouthpiece so we physically hear His message.

As when He breathed into the nostrils of the first Adam, the one created from the dry dust of the ground and pronounced: It, he, Adam, was very Good.” He formed man, Adam, after His own image. God blew into him the light, and life of His (own) essence. He blew in kinetics, and wisdom; much like the energy generated from a power plant.

The wisdom given was love, not the earthly, temporal kind, not that which requires outside validation. Rather, it is relational, the kind that thrives when shared.

This wisdom was replaced at its core when man added knowledge to the given wisdom. He partook of a forbidden fruit and was now cursed to roam the wilds alone, to tame and subdue that which once was able to be controlled, was now out of reach. He was relegated to working the soil which once freely gave. He was destined to live in a veiled state. He had to bear flesh which would burn in the desert sun, decay and one day fully die. At which point, he would be returned to the earth from whence he came. 

That fleshy earth suit would cause more harm and temptation within him, it would cause him to seek approval from without, versus within. Hence (likely) why Cain killed his brother Abel. Ever notice how Cain rhymes with pain and Abel gives the connotation of ability?

Abel’s sacrifice is highly debated, like much of Genesis itself. But one school of thought is, he presented the whole, un-slaughtered lamb. The fat portions were the entire being, alive and well. Cain had a heart condition and God saw it. Cain was trying to gain God’s approval with that which had previously been cursed. That which was derived from an outside second voice, that which we still seek today. That which God sometimes has to use in order for us to hear Him calling us onward. 

Sometimes He must use that voice in order to rend the veil within us, to allow the light to once again shine forth. Yet, the enemy awaits. He is lurking outside our walls to dig into our foundation tear the flesh in ways that seem good, pleasurable, just, that make us feel like we are winning. Yet, as a collective whole we are losing. 

We have abandoned the voice within, we have discounted and discredited the voices He uses to help us see who we are created to be. We are vessels of wisdom, love and light. Producers of energy so bright, yet, so dark as we have abandoned this love and light within. We have instead chosen a path like water, of that which offers the least resistance. A path which keeps the veil tightly intact, like a swaddling blanket that has become a straight jacket, restricting and inhibiting our movements. 

We have become victims and villains in one fell swoop. It is time, yea, beyond time to reclaim the victory which is meant as ours, by seeing the genocide of our minds for what it is. Indoctrination from a religion and religious system that has caused us to focus on me, not we. We have abandoned our love, our power, as we have looked to death to produce life.

To be continued…

Singlesliceofcheese.com Turns…

3,601 5 Neon Stock Photos and Images - 123RF

Hey all y’all my five readers THANK YOU so much for your love and support!! I would like to say this milestone is a big deal, only, it kinda isn’t because I have not written anything out here in a REALLY long time. I would like to say that will be changing in the near future, and if I can get a few things organized in my “new world”, then yes, it will definitely be changing.

Alas, until said time, here I am in all my presence, in my fullness of folly. and self and mysteries as deep as the ocean blue, where my beloved octopi lie!

Until next time my 5 friends, be blessed, be well, and take good care one for another and the earth. Let us learn to live and breathe together, taking the time to actually come to a full stop at the sign and while there, taking in the deepest breath of life. With that parting thought, keep calm, and carry on with the rest of your day, and do not forget to stop and smell the roses!

Swing Wide the Gates…

When I look in the mirror, I don’t see words on a page, or a bearded Jewish man with very kind eyes looking back at me. Instead, I see a woman in her mid-40’s with greying hair, blue eyes and emerging crows feet. 

However, my desire as a follower of Christ, is I want to reflect His essence. I want others to see Jesus in me.  So then the question becomes, how do I, how do we, make this happen? Especially when in our Western civilization, individualism is highly prized. Yet, scripture says it is more blessed to give than receive. (Acts 20:35) HCSB

While we are responsible for our own spiritual growth, there is no replacing the need for others. This not only includes those in our regular circles, but those who are lying outside of our “gates” (home, church and work).

Proverbs 27:17 (HCSB) speaks to this principle. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. In other words, I need community, I need to share that which has been entrusted to me, my life. Yet, for me to succeed, there needs to be a “we” in this equation. I have to be willing to throw off the cloak of fake heroism which says “I must bear this burden alone.”

Those of us who claim Christ as savior, yet don’t share Him in tangible ways outside of our four walls are like the rich man who neglected Lazarus, as he lay outside the man’s gate. Jesus told His disciples “All people will know you’re my disciples if you have love one for another”. (John 13:35) HCSB

As people of faith who live and work in a world ever consumed by fear, it is, now more than ever, our time to stop and see who is lying outside our gates, asking for our crumbs. It is our time to show the love of Christ in tangible ways. 

Many reading this might be like me, living in nice, and affluent small towns where the needs are not so apparent; it is easy to become encapsulated and insulated in our own cocoons of our work, church and family.  However, in order to become the church, the living, breathing, collective body of Christ, we need to band together. In a time of division, it is time for those who name the name of Christ, to set down our fear and physically lift up our fellow mankind. In so doing, we cannot forget, nor forgo the importance of (appropriate) physical touch. A hug, handshake or touch on a shoulder, shows those who are hurting, you are valuable to me. It builds a connection, a bridge mightier than words alone.

The question then becomes what is “Love” and how do I live it like Jesus did?  “Am I supposed to tell certain religious leaders who are creating a new form of slavery, they are wrong?” “Technically, we have hospitals and doctors for ‘healing” the sick…’ where does that leave me?”

Jesus Himself went against the grain and rules of the religious leaders of His day and He touched those who were dying from the inside out. So too can, and must we find those who are dying from the inside out; freely giving the salt and light which have been entrusted to our care. More than ever we need each other and the rest of the world needs to see a bearded Jewish man when they look into our eyes. 

We must love freely, openly, meeting people where they are. We must view others like the wine of Cana, drawing out the best in them because of our genuine love for them. If I have not love, I am but a resounding gong. We need to set down our weapons of, labels, fear, snap judgements and wage peace one with another. Embracing their brokenness, while infusing them with His wholeness.  However, we cannot do this, if we continue letting fear rule our faith.

In order for others to see Christ in us, we must love ourselves and our neighbors. We have been conditioned to embrace our brokenness, I am suggesting we let go of our limiting beliefs about our imperfections and start embracing our identities as whole, new creatures in Christ. When we claimed Him as Lord and savior of our lives, we invited Him to have dominion in our lives. In turn, He invites us to partake in communion or common union. Becoming one with Him and the Father, through the indwelling of the Holy Ghost. Because we have been given new life, we must now share it with our neighbors.

Sadly,  it is those in the closest proximity, who are the most estranged from us. In virtually every community there are various opportunities to volunteer.  In the workplace, we can try engaging with different co-workers, especially those in less desirable positions. By engaging with those outside of our comfort zone, and in the trenches, we will meet the real superheroes of any operation, as well as meeting some awesome people along the way.

Most of all, we must become missionaries within our neighborhoods. Yes, I mean those who live next door, and across the street. Often, when we think of a “missionary” the first thing that comes to our mind is Africa, and how we don’t want God to send us there.  

For the record, no, I don’t mean every encounter we have one with another needs to be an overt evangelistic effort. Realistically, those overt efforts are usually less effective than simply befriending someone. In order for others to see Christ in us, we must see ourselves as the “pearl of great price the true value of ourselves, that we can in turn impart that same value to others.

Let us now focus in with a few practical ways to get to know and love our neighbors. Try hosting a small bonfire in the backyard complete with makings for s’mores. If fire is not your thing, try hosting a block party, or a community game night. Other, low key options include, inviting one another back into our homes. Knock on a different neighbors door once a month and ask them to come for popcorn and snacks. For something low maintenance and yet rewarding, send random gifts to your neighbors, highlighting an attribute of theirs. The list of possibilities is endless! These are just a few suggestions to get the creative juices flowing!

Abandoned Power

Offline Power Plant Holland Michigan

In a moment, as a movement, we have abandoned our power.  

In a world of color, we have blanched, faded, and folded. Unless, that is, we can answer the age old question of “why”, we will become void, an entity of no value.

This time, the question at the end of the “why” is not “…am I here?”! Rather, it is “why do I go?”

Go where? Work? That’s obvious, to collect the participation trophy at the end of the week and enjoy the weekend. 

Go where then? The answer is, to church. Why do I, why do we, go to church? 

We file in like drones, sitting in rows like clones, we sit there staring, pretending to listen. What are we actually hearing? 

We have our bibles on our phones so we can pretend to be following along when we’re really following the feed…we gaze and graze on whatever is streaming, when in reality, the life and live event is being presented in front of us. Yet we’re nowhere close to being present. 

When it’s done, we file back out to our cars and wonder why nothing changes. Our hearts may burn for a moment when our ears catch a shortcoming, a longing or desire, a guttural flutter, a momentary gnawing of why…what did he just say?

The former moments of engagement have succumbed once again to estrangement. 

Again I am left wondering why…?

We’re given words of wisdom on how to get to Heaven when we die, how to be moral, how to run faster and try harder.  But in the end what do they produce? Is a yield present, can it be found in our abundance? Or are we simply indulging a primal need for acceptance and belonging?

Has the rhetoric been reduced to  dictation, or perhaps an incantation. Does it serve the greater inner need? 

Is there more for us in this hour of unrest? 

Are we looking to check the box and say “I did my best!” Did you really? Were you really there?  That’s not fair one may say, I ask, did you feast or simply graze off your feed? 

We have come so far from shore we’re not even sure why we go. We say the right thing, and we might sing along, if we know the song. 

How can we be Christ to the world when we don’t know who we are or why we’re there? How do we recharge and reclaim? Be engaged rather than estranged?  That, my friends is where you come in! Answer the question of why? What is your real reason, not the platitude “To worship God”. 

How is sitting in a pew listening to a skew of words and grazing on the feed – worship worthy? 

Family. Friends – people

Photo Credit: Reka Jellema

The hardest gauge to read, is the love gauge one has for another…

One of the most interesting dynamics in life is that of relationships.  We come into this world by no choice of our own, to two people who have chosen to come together in a moment. Whether or not they remain that way is as variable. Yet,  this is unrelated to our place in this new dimension. We simply arrive on the scene, screaming for all we’re worth, nine months after the “moment”.

With this action & arrival, a family is created and new relationships formed. There may be other children or other partners in the grown up realm… What makes this all so interesting and complex is what we do with these (new) relationships. Meaning, we call those to whom we have been born our parents and if other children, our brother, sister, siblings…

Yet, we’re all individual… Single, autonomous beings who are alone when it comes to thoughts, feelings, actions etc. But wait, we’re all connected too, how does that work? DNA or Deoxyribonucleic acid, is how we’re connected within the family unit. Yet there is more to this…friends and “other” people…

Friends as opposed to family, are another form of relationship which creates a tie, a bond, but more loosely connected than blood. Generally, they’re the back up squad to the family, they’re the ones you call right after calling someone who’s blood. Yes, in many cases blood also creates a friendship – but others it doesn’t and goes horribly wrong…It’s as if there’s no real balance to this dynamic, either family is close or its cold. Lukewarm and tepid also come to mind, but they’re not in the cycle of balance, making for a 3 legged stool.

On the other hand, friends can also be the missing link of a family, the un-biological sister or brother, a bond can form so deep only death could part it. Friends are of tremendous value, sometimes even to the point of being chosen over family, because they are  the ones you hangout with and have all the best times and laughs with.

The question then is, how do two (or more) complete strangers come together as friends? How can one draw out the personality of another, to the point of being a “truth serum” simply by being there, while another is seen a just a fixture, something sturdy and reliable?  How does one have such significant, silent effect on another? We call it chemistry, but what does that really mean? 

Sometimes, friendships can become family via marriage… the ultimate of two atoms colliding… I am by far not a chemist, nor an alchemist, yet, I see all around me the effects of this “chemistry in motion”.

The initial two form a tie based on this mystery called chemistry, which has its base in, interests, expectations, social need and personal desires. This foundation forming combination seems to be the most solid and yet most vulnerable to breakdown and disintegration…Yet, all relationships are at risk for this seismic shift. Interests, expectations – people change…

Once again leaving us to be the single autonomous unit we already were. Or simply put, alone again. 

Clearly, blood is thicker than water, yet, blood consists mostly of water…

What makes this unique and not at the same time is, the whole dancing dynamic is comprised of one common denominator – people.

People are everywhere, spilling out of every corner of the earth. Population experts claim the number of people in the world is around 7.5 billion people. However we don’t seem to invite all of these “other” random strangers to our family functions or to hangout with our friends, until they become one… But wait, they are people too! Just like, but not quite, just not “us”…

To further complicate and even confound the issue, technically, we all are related in one way or another. We all originated from two people. Some could possibly make the argument for coming from 10 people. They being, the original two, Adam & Eve and  after the flood, Noah & his wife or from one of their 3 sons and wives. How did so many come from so few? 

How is it we get along one with another with so many different  personalities?  We’re the same, yet different, alone yet connected…no wonder the earth spins!

Unless you’re like some who prefer to think of themselves or perhaps just others as descending from monkeys who evolved from random protozoans crawling out of the primordial soup kitchen… If that is the case, then really, we’re all here by random chance, despite the chances of “us” being here as ourselves is one in 400 billion and then we’re not connected at all, but simply alone. Or are we connected via that single cell – that decided to divide..?

As it stands, at the end of the day, we are all still people, and a family of sorts. Some of us are even friends – 

Fin

– Humanities Children –

This image has an empty alt attribute; its file name is 5593acc6-d19d-41a0-9ccc-b39734f06552_1_201_a.jpeg

Silence, is the sound after the noise…

Have you ever stopped to listen? To reeeaaalllly listen? Most of us “listen” to respond. To get OUR point across, we don’t really seem to care about the opinion or points of others, we just want to be heard.

What I have noticed more and more is how much “visual noise” there is in conjunction with “regular noise” and then there’s the chatter noise; those conversations & voices in our heads. The ones we don’t talk about, the things we “want” to, but don’t say. Those things, which really, are probably best left unsaid.

Let’s take a look at all this noise. Often, the first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is look at the time on my phone, and speaking of my phone, because it’s in my hand, it becomes visual noise….Facebook, Google, Candy Crush, some other random search for how to make self rising flour.

While driving on the highway there is even more noise, road noise, sirens, and more visual noise. Bumper stickers about honor students, stick figure families and save Mother Earth. Plus, billboards, construction barrels, and my least favorite, speed limit signs. I realize construction barrels and speed limit signs are not really visual noise, but they add to the “other noise” category, the chatter going on in our heads. We grumble about construction or the fact we want to go an entirely different speed than the posted limitation…

Or how about this excerpt of a conversation, “It’s obvious we’re bringing humanities children back in”, in conjunction with, “ wow…those shorts, they could pass for underwear…”,  “yeah, I would be tugging on the hemline of that skirt too…” “she’s only wearing that bandage for attention”. 

The trouble is, this wasn’t a conversation being held by two people, it was the chatter noise in my head. I was silently judging a specific group, and their decision trees regarding their “out the door outfits of the day”.  “Do I wear the flowered shorts and my Marine Corp. Hoodie, or do I go with…?” “I hurt my wrist 3 weeks ago, but I think I will wrap it again anyway…”

That’s when it ALL hit me!  Who are these people I was silently judging?  The answer is, they’re the younger versions of ourselves. Kids, whose parents surrendered them for a couple hours of peace on a Sunday morning. Some of whom will go into the service industry, some writers and artists, some will become parents and others felons. 

They may have different faces, mannerisms and quirks. But deep down, in their core they are us. As we were those who came before us. Given this revelation, one would think we would or should be tripping over ourselves trying to make sure these younger versions get on the right path in life, to make sure the one didn’t really become a felon.

Yet I, like most others that day, was not listening to them about anything, rather, I was judging them. Why are we not looking into their silent eyes and hearing all they have to say, all they want to become. Why not? Because we are too enthralled with our own noise. We like being inundated with information, gossip and conspiracy theories, why? Because it’s comfortable. Silence is not. Seeing, the words being silently spoken by the eyes of another is not comfortable, it’s rather frightening to be exact, especially when it’s being said by “humanities children”. Yes, those younger, different versions of ourselves…

*Photo Credit: Reka Jellema

💥BOOM! POP.BANG!💥

Screen Shot 2019-08-28 at 10.27.00 PM

Have you ever really considered what it means to be human, to be alive? I was looking at my mom the other day, and wondered about the marvel of how we’re all so different, yet alike at the same time. Sometimes I reduce us to “walking bags of electrified salt water”. Other times, I marvel at the engineering that went into each and every one of us.  How is it, I can live happily with her, yet, my siblings could not? What drives one person to be angry all the time and another to be laissez faire?

With some 7+/- billion of us walking around down here with different personalities, it’s truly a wonder how we have made it this far.  We talk about having “chemistry one with another”.  Often, this is code for did we find the “one” or when making new friends and acquaintances, did we mesh? Why are some people not able to get along with themselves, let alone anyone else? What causes anger, or frustration, or happiness? Yes, circumstances play a part in them, but it’s not like at the autopsy we can find these emotions within them.

Why is it when I met one person in the winter of 2016, I felt an instant connection with them on that particular day, when I felt something completely opposite towards them earlier in late 2015 at our initial meeting?

Much of what happens in life feels like it is outside of our control, outside of our ability to predict, to rationally understand. I had a dear friend die of cancer, in the summer of 2018 who was still making a difference in many lives when hers was cut short.

Perhaps her calling had been fulfilled….Truth be told, her legacy is residing in each of the lives she touched – she too is like this flower, the seeds which she planted are blooming (more) abundantly.

But…what does it really mean to die? Is it when the electricity is cut off from a body? Does a massive short circuit happen and then boom, lights out? Or is there something more? Some it would seem, die before they lived. But what does it mean to be alive? Is it simply because your breathing or when you discover why you’re here in the first place? What if you never make that discovery? Are we then to brace for impact should our paths cross?

How is it life can be framed from the perspective of beauty and joy coming from loss? We want everything to be perfect, to be pain free. We want to have the people we care most about with us forever, however, reality provides just the opposite, so what is it that allows for beauty from the ashes? Is it because we’re made of the same substances – carbon and energy?

Perhaps it really is that, nothing grows on the mountaintop…but, wild flowers decorate the valley floors with their blooms popping out in vibrant colors — After a rain, a releasing of even more carbon and energy into the atmosphere. Let us then just be here in the now, that we might hear and live before we die, before the lights go out.

  • Fin